Let us break the silence and talk about it !

Break the silence!

We live in the society where in there are various hurdles which needs to be crossed in order to survive and reach a certain position in our lives. There are various stereotypes those needs to be changed or rejected completely.There are various laws and new beliefs that needs to be implemented in order to protect the people and the society. Why are we silenced? What are we afraid of?

Why is it a woman have to be the kitchen queen always?

Why is that the men out there are ashamed of the basic skills required to sustain. Why the working women are not been co-operated by their husbands and other family members? Why is it a girl child since her childhood is known to be well equipped with kitchen stuff as compared with boys. Why is that cooking skill an important criterion for getting married for a woman and why does she have to get rejected based on not knowing how to cook? Though there are various women out there who are passionate about cooking and had made it as their career as well as men, but why isn’t cooking a basic skill which both girls and boys should be taught despite of the gender.

Why is that the society treats the unmarried or group of middle age tenants as a trouble?

Why is that the people are afraid to rent their house for a group of middle age tenants? Why are so many extra rules been set for them despite them being behaving according to the rules? Why are the group of girl tenants been purposely harassed because of the inner garments they dry outside or the friends they hang out with or the indoor parties that they conduct or consume alcohol, keeping in mind that they do not cause any trouble to the others in the society? Why are they been judged upon being staying away from their family? Just because the pressure people have built upon their kids for not doing certain activities that does not mean they have the rights to judge the upbringing and family of the other’s kids too.

Why is that a woman with Mars defect (Mangal dosh) been blamed?

Why is that the society treats and judges a woman based on her astrological background. Why does it cause so much of trouble for her to get a groom and marry? Respecting the Hindu religion, what must be woman’s psychological state of being if she is again and again been taunted of being a “Mangalik” as if it has to be some committed crime? Why is she threatened for marrying the person of her dream? Is it just because of the mars defect? It would be great if the people start match making considering the qualities really required to sustain a healthy marriage rather than physical appearance and astrological aspects.

Why childless parent adopting a baby society termed them as incapable?

Adoption is gift of god which very few are capable of doing. Why the society have to see them an incapable parent not being capable to conceive a child. Why not people understand it is as an individual right of the couple to not conceive at all and adopt. Why there is so much of pressure of have a baby of resembling their own DNA. People should understand parenthood is not about having similar DNA’s instead is about the unconditional love between the parent- children bond.

Why is that a woman has to be blamed for not been able to conceive?

Why is that in 99% of the case a woman has to be blamed. Why do not people understand that a woman is not a machine that has to be perfect to be able to give birth? Why infertility problems faced by men are not a big deal as it has to be with woman when she has a problem to conceive? People should really understand that it is not always women but men too face problems which unable to get his wife pregnant. Men are also one of the contributors for infertility. There is no chance a woman has to face serious allegations or have to put her marriage in danger just because she is not able to conceive. In some families the son is allowed to remarry just because he think is, its all his wife's fault for not been able to conceive but on the other hand a women is not allowed to do so.

 Medical counselling is so much of importance in such cases and is growing enough to eradicate such beliefs. But though infertility have come up with many solutions to infertility, still there are many woman who are not been allowed to use donor sperm by their partner of family members just because it will question the men's machoness and on the other side has no problem when a donor egg is suggested. People need to understand that just passing on the genetic material is not enough to become parents but love and acceptance too in an important factor one should minimize the so called "me" ego in such cases and go on with the options available with the ultimate goal of parenthood.

Why is menstruation still not accepted as a natural process and is still considered as a big deal?

We are living in 21^st century where in movies in Bollywood Industry like “Padman” has to be  still made to make people aware of how normal it is to menstruate. Despite of the tremendous efforts been taken to eradicate old- odd beliefs related to menstruation still there are many women out there who are still facing these issues of being treated as untouchables or are not allowed to conduct their daily routine during menstruation. Despite of the education, they fail to convince their family members about how normal it is. Girls, it is completely normal to menstruate. It is the gift of god. If you are unable to convince your parents, don’t just at least pass it on to your daughter or sons. Be the change and start it from yourself, feel comfortable with fact that you are menstruating, is because you are been blessed to reproduce. 

Change your mindset and adopt to the facts that really exist and don’t just blindly follow what is been said or implemented on you. By the way ladies it is not our fault as we are taught that the sunrises and sets but very few know that neither of that happens, it’s only our earth that rotates. We are been fed with such things at very young age which is the only reason of how tough it is to reprogram our beliefs. That is why it is important to teach sex and menstruation education at younger age as it leads to the foundation of our belief system.

Why body shaming is so much into trend?

Why does one have to fit into the skeleton been made by the people in the society?  Why is that people are just trying to mold themselves into someone just for others to like them? Why isn’t self-love and self-acceptance the new normal without the validation of someone else? Why is that thinness (in shape) and fairness the trend? What makes you so hard to accept who you are? Every shade of skin is beautiful and normal, every size is beautiful and normal, we can’t be biased by being more towards white and forgetting how beautiful the night sky is. We all cannot be same size and color because that is not for what nature made it so diverse. And let’s digest one thing that we are what genes we have inherited from our parents as well as how we have been working on ourselves. And this does not mean you have your parents to blame for. One thing that can be done for sure, lets respect ourselves first by not being rude enough to change it or harm it and secondly accepting and loving the other sizes and shades and thirdly let’s assure and comfort others by letting them know that they too are beautiful and perfect.

Why do we need certain status to travel in first class compartments of the train?

Once I have been travelling in the first-class compartment of the train and one of the women decently dressed boarded the train. And what happened next was common yet very sad. The other ladies in the compartment starting giving her an ugly look and were staring at her up and down, as if she has no rights to board the first-class train compartment if she does not appear to look good and is been able to speak English. She was been questioned in English whether she had a first-class ticket or not and was being said why does such middle classy people enter our compartment. On which the lady answered she had the pass and laughed of being judged by those ladies and later said “one does not require to look rich to travel in first class but have the ticket instead.” People are so judgmental and outer beauty shines in their eyes more than being humble enough towards others and such types of attitude seriously needs to be changed.

 

Why is the woman having to be blamed in most of cases?

Why is that every time anything serious happens may it be a rape or an eve teasing a woman is at the blame? Why is that such blames of her being influencing the people to commit such horrible crime been made entertained? Why are we silenced to speaks for ourselves and our rights and about how something is going wrong with us? Why are our voices being stopped to be raised when we are demanding justice for ourselves? Why is talking about what has gone wrong with us is so infrequent? Why are we pressurized to live with that incident without talking about it without asking for justice just because it will cause any harm to our reputation? Why isn’t it normal to ask for justice without being the highlighted or most talked victim, about where she went, how she was dressed was she alone or with someone else and about how she might have aroused the rapist? Why is there so much of gender role play? Why haven’t we getting the answers to these questions? 

It is only because we are afraid to speak. Let us come out and roar like a lion. Let speaking about the crime happened to us be new normal. Being strong has nothing to do with muscles and mustache. Let us stand for each other rather than being judgmental, let us all hear to be heard. Do not let It to be normal to keep tolerating, one can only continue to harm you if one is allowed to, so get up and say “enough is enough “not just for you but for the welfare of the pressurized womanhood.

Why men are meant to behave strong even if they do not feel so?

Like women, men also are facing various stereotypes of the society. They are considered to be strong mentally, physically, emotionally and financially despite of them being not strong sometimes. Men are being laughed upon dating a taller woman, are being talked upon been relied on their partner financially, been laughed being a house-husband. The society has labelled men as “strong”. They are not supposed to cry and show their emotions, they are not supposed to be doing house hold chores. They are supposed to be financially stable enough to get a spouse. These labels need to be removed then only the two genders can be on the same level.

It must not be strong male vs weak female just because she menstruates and he hides his emotions, instead should be men are equal to women. The two gender co-exist and are interdependent and not superior or dominating over each other. People of the society needs to grow more mature enough to look beyond what is been taught. They must remove the blindfold of old-beliefs and grow by accepting the new us. This will only happen when we break the pin drop silence and make it roar enough to bring the change despite of our genders and being together in this journey for the welfare of both the genders. It is not men vs women in fact it is between old us vs new us. Together let’s break the chain of tolerating and hate and let us support each other and carry each other forward together. Now or never so why delay when it can be done now.  So let us #BreakTheSilence with Fertility Dost, India’s trusted platform for managing fertility health. #FertilityDostContest

 

Thank you for reading.

Hope you have a wonderful day.

By- Shweta D. Gowda

 

 

 

 

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

FRIENDS- The word itself is so much refreshing. Friends are an integral part of our lives. When this term arrives, there are slideshows of faces and those amazing memories that starts to play in our mind. There are many kinds of friends that we make in different timings of our life. Some in our childhood, some in our school, some in our college and some strangers that randomly become our friends and these all are equally important for us as they all play a specific role. From childhood to old age we all require friends.

We are our own friend first and then someone else's. The way you are there for others be there for yourselves when you need to be you. The way you understand what is going wrong with your friend, start doing that when you feel the same for yourself so. Our siblings are one of the best friends we could ever get. Not everyone we meet is our friend and not everyone we know for years is our friend. The types of friends we have is the reflection of our choices and how we see ourselves as. As it is very well said that we are known for the friends and people we hang out with. And it is somewhere true because our friends play an important part in our lives and have a huge influence. It is either they transform us or shatter our lives.

There are three kinds of people in friendship, one who prefers quality over quantity one who prefers quantity over quality and one who believes to have both quality as well as quantity. Friends are the one who are happy in your happiness sad in your sadness who motivates us drag us to the right path as well as our partners in crime. 

One should always be happy seeing their friend’s success rather than being jealous. And be understanding and supportive in their failures. Our friends are our comfort zone a shoulder to lean on our Santa clause who never fails to surprise us. Friendship is growing old together. Friendship is not just about how long you have known each other but how well you have enjoyed being together. Friendship is sharing your things to your secrets to be kept safe.  Some friends come in our lives as an angel who completely make us a new person. Friends are the ones who may not be a good advisor but an excellent listening ear. They may not be the best healers but are an excellent clown who make us laugh constantly. They may not have solutions to our problem but they make us realize to deal with the problem with different perspective. Why do we always go well with the person whom we call our friends and we become friends with the person with whom we share most of our qualities with, is because somewhere we are looking for ourselves in them. We all want someone like minded as us to be our friends. Friends do not need a constant communication but something that never changes even without a constant communication. We do not need to gift them to be their friends but care for them and be really there when they need us. The foundation of friendship is share, give and take but do not expect. The best kinds of friendships are when even our parents can trust our friends. We all remember our parents saying to our friends that " it’s because you are accompanying is why he/she gets the permission to do something or go somewhere". Some people just forget that relationships and friendships are two different yet important things that exist in our lives but still knowing this they would choose just one of them and which is why they either gain one or lose both.

Friendship does not require age, colour, financial status, religion or profession to have a bond with but unconditional love. Just as human beings’ animals are also our friends, they just need love and they will be loyal to you for the rest of your life. We have something to learn from each of our friends because everyone has a different character and way of living life and this is how a gang of friends is formed.

Those drunken memories, college bunks those hilarious fights everything in friendship is just so amazing. Keep making friends worth a bond of friendship. Lots of love to all the friends out there. Wishing you all a very Happy Friendship Day.

Thank you for reading.

Have a great day ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Father's Day..!!

Father is such a special word in itself. In our life our father is an equally important person for us as our mother is. Though we are more attached to our mothers because of the umbilical connection that we have while being in her womb but don’t forget we are the product of the fastest sperm of our father. Our father is our biggest source of entertainment, strength, inspiration. He is our teacher in itself who prepares us to face the world.

He is like a protected shield around us who endlessly protects us from all the evil out there. Fathers may never directly express their feelings, their love for us, yet they always do in the form of concern, scolding or surprises.

Be grateful to even a little thing in your life as because your father has worked really hard to bring that in your life. Our fathers work really hard to give us all the luxury and comfort. We all should make effort to never hurt them in anyway after all we are their pride. And make an effort to apologize for anything wrong ever happened that could have ever hurt them in anyway.

Both our parents just expect our well-being, success, and want us to walk on a right path. We all should respect and love them in every way possible after all they are our greatest blessing gifted by god.

Here I am wishing all the fathers out there a very Happy Father’s Day with a small poem dedicated to them. 
  FATHER!

 My superhero my guiding light,

Shining in dark as a moonlight.

From childhood to adulthood,

He played the best fatherhood.

From teaching me chess to gifting me dress,

He always surprised me by being a bless.

Hiding his tears behind a bright smile,

He always protected me in a discrete style.

He always held my hand tight,

So, facing the world seems alright.

Sometimes sour sometimes bitter,

Is what make our bond so better.

I love him always  but fail to show,

But one day he will surely know.

By-Shweta Gowda

Thank you for reading.

Have a wonderful day ahead!

Nature at its best..!

Have you all ever noticed how beautiful is our nature? Each and every feature is so unique. How beautiful it is to see the colours naturally occurring in nature. How happy we feel seeing the rainbow and the colourful flowers, we do not get the same feeling when we see artificial colours. How happy we are when we enjoy the rain drops touching our skin while getting wet in the rain or standing under a waterfall, this same kind of feeling we do not get while we stand under our bathroom showers. How beautiful it feels to stand by the shore and listen to the waves crashing the seashores. How beautiful it feels to listen to the chirping of the birds.

How peaceful and relaxing it feels while the cool breeze touches our face, we do not get the same feeling from our ceiling fans. How thrilling it feels to climb the mountains rather than a roller coaster. How beautiful it is to smell the fragrance of the flowers which are not same as our perfumes. How beautiful it is to just lay down and gaze at the dark sky filled with stars. How beautiful and excited we are when w e see sunset and sunrises though there is nothing new that we see but still it hits different all the time. How excited and curious we become while on a jungle safari to see the flora and fauna which we haven't seen before how our eyes widen when we see the beautiful landscapes. How mesmerizing are the changing colours of the sky the falling off of leaves the thundering sounds of the clouds.

 If we observe closely nature is always at its best, we need to make time to see the what we are surrounded with. Nature has provided us with everything. And if we start to understand and observe what we are surrounded with we would never think about harming the nature meant for us. We need to dive deep in the dept of nature and we will get to know what we are gifted with. Also, it because of our sense organs which makes it possible for us to see feel hear touch and taste the essence of nature and we should learn to not take any of these for granted. 

Thank you for reading.

Hope you have a wonderful day ahead!
By- Shweta

Free time!

We often have very less time free in our daily routine. We often keep waiting for the free time to do something for ourselves. We often get bored when we have nothing to do. But to overcome this" nothing to do"

there are so many things to do. There are many ways to spent our free time especially during this lockdown phase. Keeping oneself busy is very important as our mind has wandering capacity. And if maximum times of the day if you have lot of free time than it is the wake up call to do something productive for yourself. And if you are busy maximum time of your day than its a wake up call for you too to take out some time for self help. 

So here are some tips that you can do in your free time.

• practice meditation
• read books
• learn a new language
• listen to music 
• learn to play an instrument
• go through you childhood photos
• make painting or do craft work
• try a new dish
• try photography
• maintain a journal for scripting your goals
• watch some funny content
• clean your room and reset it
• observe nature around you
• try to memorize important contact numbers
• clear unwanted emails
• have a positive conversation with yourself
• play games
• try beauty remedies
• empty your photo gallery
• write a poem/blog/book
• opt for new course.

Thank you for reading.

Hope you have a wonderful day ahead!

by-Shweta Gowda

Happy Mothers day..!

Mothers are that one important element of our lives without which we are incomplete. From the day we are born till today one word one emotion one person is always constant i.e"Mother".

Just one day is not enough to dedicate to our mothers or celebrate motherhood because what mother do for us is just irreplaceable. No one can love us the way our mothers do. Mothers can play role of our guide, our teacher, our friend, our support system. No one can be a mother to us. Mothers love for their child is endless without any expectations. We should never take our mother for granted not everyone is lucky enough to have a mother. Mothers are not just bonded with their child with the umbilical cord  but also with the bond of love for lifetime. Even if no one is proud of us our mother is always proud of us even if no one believes in us it is our mother who does. The first person we look for when we get back home is our mom. Every mother is unique and beautiful and has the same purpose of molding her child into a good human being. Always make your mother happy even your small efforts is her biggest source of happiness. Our mother is our constant source of motivation, our strength not just because she feeds us or takes care of us but the way she portraits her love. When we grow up we always feel that we do not need our mothers much, for us our social media life our friends become more important and this somewhere brings a gap between our relationship with our mothers. We tend to get irritated about how our mother restricts us doing some activities or restricts our interaction with certain friends or people or over care, over protects us. But as life starts teaching us lessons that every reason behind our mothers insecurities come to the surface and makes us realize that our mothers were always right and predictable about people and events in our life. Since childhood we have a habit of telling our mother each and every single detail of how our day at school was but as we grow up we tend to hide some areas of our life as we do not feel comfortable sharing everything with her.We like partying socializing with our friends because we feel they understand us well, well yes they do understand us but they can never guide us about the rights and wrongs as well as our mothers are capable of. How many of have taken our moms out for dinner  or had a long conversation with her or done something which she likes yes we all have but very rarely. Try doing it often, moms are very less demanding they do not ask for expensive things, all that matters to them is our love care attention and success. Every mom mom wants her child to be successful not for money in return but for the welfare of her child's future. One hug from her heals us like no medicine in this world. 

So lets always respect our mothers, be grateful to our mothers, take time to maker her proud, and try giving her the endless love which she keeps showering on us. 

Here I wish a very happy mothers day to all the moms out there.

Thank you for reading.

Hope you have a wonderful day ahead.

By- Shweta Gowda

Attitude of gratitude!

There is so much in life to be grateful for. From the first breath that we take while we wake up in the morning to the amazing parents that we have, amazing siblings, healthy mind and body, beautiful healthy hygienic place to stay in, beautiful clothes to wear, tasty food to eat, clean water to drink, fresh air to breathe, amazing friends to be with, prestigious college school or work place to be the part of.
Gratitude begins the time we start observing ourselves and the things places and people around us.
How beautiful it feels when someone compliments us isnt it?
But to give someone a compliment requires a silent observation, the way his or her action or appearance makes us feel, the inspiration, motivation, positivity that we get. If we can get so much enthusiasm, inspiration, motivation while we observe others, imagine what would happen if we deeply silently start observing our state of being. How beautiful it will make us feel while we observe and start complimenting ourselves even before someone else does it for.
Each and every cell of our body has about 70% of water content and water vibrates and holds memory. Our every thought that we think sends out certain amount of frequency and the cells of our body tends to vibrate with those frequency. Our thoughts are very powerful, we attract what we think about unknowingly, that is why it is always said think happy thoughts. Have you ever noticed when we compliment a child for the work which he or she has done without any criticism the child feels happy and starts taking more interest in the particular activity and puts best effort to improve. The same goes for our cells in body. The more we are thankful for each and every cell that makes our organ system, the more healthy we become, and the more healthy we become the more good we feel about ourselves.
We all our interdependent on each other for survival we do need other persons help to survive, so one must always be grateful for each and every person that plays even a small part in our everyday life.
Have you ever noticed why we tend to like people who are joyful, happy and the one who always have a smile on their face?
When we ourselves are happy resonate happiness, kindness,politeness that makes other person more comforting when we are around.
When we are happy in what we are where we are and however we are we automatically start vibrating on the higher frequency attracting more and more of such happy circumstances in our life.
We often tend to like someone who appreciates without complaining, gives without expectations, one who remains positive in every situation, one who unconditionally loves us. So yes we must become that someone to ourselves first and automatically we become that someone for someone and the chain continues.
Thank You is a very powerful word. Use it again and again and eventually you will notice you have so much to be thankful for.
One positive thought in morning or that one smile of appreciation to own self looking into the mirror and then boom!! your whole day goes with beautiful encounters, circumstances.
Every big thing is an accumulation of small things, so such small small activities small compliments, act of kind, brings about a major change in our life.
Every thing takes times, so if you take time to make things happen then it surely will be worth it.
Hope you all have a fabulous day ahead!
Thank you for reading my first blog ever.

by-Shweta Gowda